I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Success! We fucked roommates!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
