so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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