I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize