If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
MIDGETS
????
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
