Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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