All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
