when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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