i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
