this beer tastes like vomit already
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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