the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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