The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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