Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
