Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
