Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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