I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
