Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
