She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
