I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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