naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize