y did u give ur computer a hand job?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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