I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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