i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
