He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
