Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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