hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
