Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize