Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
operation harelip BJ is a go
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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