No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
