I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize