What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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