I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dignity is for republicans.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
