She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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