my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
as a side note pls kill me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
