why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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