Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
