his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
