I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize