with your own penis?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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