Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
