My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
