i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
