elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
