This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
