wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize