I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
