It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
