Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There are leaves in my underwear?
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