i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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