im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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