already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
