Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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