Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
