just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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