PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
