the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize