Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
