you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
